The need for control in our lives is a completely normal feeling. After all who can make a better decision for you than you? We all crave stability and the thought of uncertainty can invite fear and anxiety to our lives. It also welcomes disappointment when we don’t get things our way. There must be a level of balance in our minds that allows us to enjoy life as it comes, rather than trying to make our lives perfect – whatever that means.
Many circumstances that arise in our lives are out of our control. These circumstances can be painful, and the emotions that stick with us lead to forming a guard against all future decisions. We find ourselves overthinking in every situation as a reoccurring need for self-protection. This habit drains happiness from life if everything must be according to scenarios made in our minds.
It is vital to heal from our pasts, and forgive and allow our hearts to move forward. Don’t carry heavy emotional baggage all of your life. Addressing pain releases us from hatred and bitterness. Harboring negative thoughts and energy hurts the relationships closest to us, due to how we attempt to take control. This can push people not responsible for that pain away. The need to control every aspect of life will leave you feeling alone in the present moment.
There’s no need to invite disappointment into our lives. Of course, it is inevitable to avoid being disappointed at some point, but we cannot expect perfection as we are all imperfect humans. The people around you are not mind readers. They cannot possibly know how or what you want from them if you are not upfront and honest about what you need. They can make the choice to fulfill your need or not, but accept that it is out of your control. You can only control yourself. That realization will ease the weight of the heavy expectations we set on our shoulders.
Fear is normal and it is real. We crave security, so it is natural to have urges to control. Listen to your intuition as it speaks to you, but enjoy life as it comes. Build healthy connections with those around you. Step away from relationships based in the need to have power over another person or their actions. Control what you can, and accept what you cannot, but make sure you are happy.
Hand your fears and anxiety to the Lord and allow Him to heal your heart. Allow Him to deliver you from that pain and hurt, and hand Him the power to guide your life.
We all have a past, we all have our own issues we deal with everyday. Some hide it better than others, but we all deserve to be free and happy. But also, to be hopeful of our futures and leave the planning up to God, for He knows better than we do.
This week, consider where you can start lifting weight from your heart. Forgive when and where you can, and live peacefully in the moment, He has it all figured out. Control is overrated anyway.